The Five Stages of the Grief
Grief can occur as the result of a number of different events – someone we know dies, a relationship ends, we lose a pet, we have to give up a long held goal in our life, or any other number of situations. But there is one common denominator in all of these events, and that is loss. Grief is a process of physical, emotional, social, and cognitive reactions to loss. The grieving process is often a hard one to work through. It requires patience with ourselves and with others. Although responses to loss are as diverse as the people experiencing it, patterns or stages that are commonly experienced have emerged. These stages were identified and named by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Knowing these five stages can sometimes help in coping with the process of grief and recognizing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It should be noted that although most people experience all of the following stages, they do not experience them with the same duration, or in the same order, or with the same intensity. It is a very unique process.
Denial
Denial is generally the first stage in the grief process. It can be experienced as numbness or avoidance or isolation or direct denial. It is a stage in which we just cannot believe that the loss is true. We may tell ourselves that it did not really happen. It does not seem real.
Anger
Another stage of grief is anger. At this point, we have gotten past some or all of the denial, but now we are angry about the loss. We may want to take it out on something or someone, or we may just express our anger in ways that are familiar to us.
Bargaining
In the bargaining stage, we are trying to come up with ways to get back what we lost or just find someone or something to blame. Common thoughts include "If only I had just …." or "I wish we could have…." or "Maybe if I do this…." In the case of a lost relationship, we might actually bargain with the person we lost in an effort to get them back. "If I change my behavior, will you come back?"
Depression
The depression stage is just as it sounds, a time of sadness. It generally follows denial, anger, and bargaining when we feel helpless and hopeless to stop the loss. It may include crying, withdrawal, or any other way that expresses sadness.
Acceptance
The final stage is acceptance. Most often we have gone through all of the above stages and in many cases cycled through the above stages more than once before getting to acceptance. At this stage, we have (to some extent) reorganized ourselves and our thinking to incorporate the loss. This does not mean that we no longer get sad about the loss from time to time, but the sadness is now a part of us and does not keep us from functioning normally most of the time. Over time, the intensity of the sadness generally diminishes, but may never entirely go away.
Armed with the knowledge of these five stages, we can now better understand ourselves and others who are going through the grief process. Recognizing the stages can increase your empathy and support for others and provide permission for yourself to go through the process in your own way and in your own time.
©2000 Lori Godin, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached in San Jose, California, at 408.260.9996.
E-mail her at lgodin@pacbell.net, or click the mailbox link:
© Copyright 1999 through 2003 Counseling for Modern Life. Any article may be reprinted, but must be printed in its entirety, without alteration, and must show the name and contact information for the author, in order to comply with copyright laws.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Grief (see next post for explanation of 5 steps)
This past weekend we attended the funeral of my dear Uncle Del. I have attended many funerals throughout my life and one thing they all have in common is that there is grieving and sadness. I once heard that there are 5 stages of grief. I know that I have experienced grief many times and so I researched this topic and decided that if I could benefit from what I found then quite possibly others could also benefit. Therefore the next post will be an article I found that explains it rather well.
God Bless You!
God Bless You!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Delbert G. Divelbiss, Awaiting the Return of Jesus Christ
Today was a sad day in my life and the lives of my family. My dear Uncle Del fell asleep and is awaiting the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. For him, the next thing he will know will be the return of Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.
Uncle Del was my Dad's only brother. They were 5-1/2 years apart in age, my Dad being the older. They were born in a house here in Huntington, my Dad in 1924 and Uncle Del in 1929. In fact, Uncle Del just celebrated his 80th birthday on August 31. He didn't think he would make it to that age, but he did.
Uncle Del married Aunt Norma on her 19th birthday, June 22, 1952. The following year my cousin Karen was born on June 17. Two years later on February 9, 1955 Kay Ann was born. Tom was born on July 23, 1959 and Kathy on February 4, 1965. They lived in a house here in Huntington until 1966 when they moved to Fort Wayne.
Karen married Dave in the summer of 1975 and they live in the Plymouth, Indiana area. Kay Ann married Mike in the summer of 1977 and they currently live in Virginia. Tom has lived around the Los Angeles area of California for over 15 years. Kathy lives in Fort Wayne.
In around 1978, Uncle Del, Aunt Norma, and Kathy moved to a property on the southern edge of Salamonie Reservoir. There they owned about 26 acres, much of it being rented out to a farmer. Uncle Del and Aunt Norma lived there until a few years ago when it became too difficult for Uncle Del to take care of the yard. They sold their property and bought a house back in Fort Wayne where they would be close to Kathy.
One of the things I can tell you about Uncle Del was how much he liked watermelon. I remember sitting on the back steps of the Huntington house when I was very young, eating watermelon and spiting the seeds out in the yard. He also like popcorn and RC Cola and we ate many bowls of popcorn while watching TV. The house they lived in had hard wood floors and Tom's room was knotty pine. I think it was used as a den where we watched TV until he was born.
One time when I was visiting my cousins, I went for a short, very short, bike ride after supper. The man who lived behind them had dug a little ditch across the alley so that the water would drain. I didn't know it was there and for some reason, I went head over heels and landed on my chin. Uncle Del and Aunt Norma's brother Clyde took me to the emergency room where they proceeded to remove the many stones that were stuck in my chin. Then the doctor put a clamp on my chin to hold it together. I still have the scars although the hurt is gone.
Another time, we went swimming on the back side of Lake Clare. Lake Clare was an old gravel pit that had filled with water. Rumor has it that there are train cars in the bottom of the lake and as such, it is very deep. As kids, my Dad and Uncle Del used to swim in it with the neighborhood boys. The area where we went to swim wasn't a beach area, but the water right at the edge wasn't too deep. I went out a little too far and went down. Karen grabbed my foot and called to her Dad. He jumped in and pulled me out of the cold water. He saved my life. For that, I will ever be thankful.
In 1970 Uncle Del asked if I wanted to join their family and our Grandpa for a 4-week vacation to Alaska. Of course I said YES! He had a 1969 12-passenger Ford van. The back two seats were turned to face each other and we played many card games as we traveled the 4,000 miles one way. We had such a good time that we all went again in 1972, but this time for 7 weeks! We camped and prepared much of our food. Those two trips were highlights of my life and I am so grateful for the time we spent together as a family. We all have very good memories of those vacations.
Uncle Del had 4 children who I mentioned earlier. He also had 5 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.
I praise God for the times that I shared with Uncle Del. He was a wonderful uncle and I am going to miss him greatly.
Uncle Del was my Dad's only brother. They were 5-1/2 years apart in age, my Dad being the older. They were born in a house here in Huntington, my Dad in 1924 and Uncle Del in 1929. In fact, Uncle Del just celebrated his 80th birthday on August 31. He didn't think he would make it to that age, but he did.
Uncle Del married Aunt Norma on her 19th birthday, June 22, 1952. The following year my cousin Karen was born on June 17. Two years later on February 9, 1955 Kay Ann was born. Tom was born on July 23, 1959 and Kathy on February 4, 1965. They lived in a house here in Huntington until 1966 when they moved to Fort Wayne.
Karen married Dave in the summer of 1975 and they live in the Plymouth, Indiana area. Kay Ann married Mike in the summer of 1977 and they currently live in Virginia. Tom has lived around the Los Angeles area of California for over 15 years. Kathy lives in Fort Wayne.
In around 1978, Uncle Del, Aunt Norma, and Kathy moved to a property on the southern edge of Salamonie Reservoir. There they owned about 26 acres, much of it being rented out to a farmer. Uncle Del and Aunt Norma lived there until a few years ago when it became too difficult for Uncle Del to take care of the yard. They sold their property and bought a house back in Fort Wayne where they would be close to Kathy.
One of the things I can tell you about Uncle Del was how much he liked watermelon. I remember sitting on the back steps of the Huntington house when I was very young, eating watermelon and spiting the seeds out in the yard. He also like popcorn and RC Cola and we ate many bowls of popcorn while watching TV. The house they lived in had hard wood floors and Tom's room was knotty pine. I think it was used as a den where we watched TV until he was born.
One time when I was visiting my cousins, I went for a short, very short, bike ride after supper. The man who lived behind them had dug a little ditch across the alley so that the water would drain. I didn't know it was there and for some reason, I went head over heels and landed on my chin. Uncle Del and Aunt Norma's brother Clyde took me to the emergency room where they proceeded to remove the many stones that were stuck in my chin. Then the doctor put a clamp on my chin to hold it together. I still have the scars although the hurt is gone.
Another time, we went swimming on the back side of Lake Clare. Lake Clare was an old gravel pit that had filled with water. Rumor has it that there are train cars in the bottom of the lake and as such, it is very deep. As kids, my Dad and Uncle Del used to swim in it with the neighborhood boys. The area where we went to swim wasn't a beach area, but the water right at the edge wasn't too deep. I went out a little too far and went down. Karen grabbed my foot and called to her Dad. He jumped in and pulled me out of the cold water. He saved my life. For that, I will ever be thankful.
In 1970 Uncle Del asked if I wanted to join their family and our Grandpa for a 4-week vacation to Alaska. Of course I said YES! He had a 1969 12-passenger Ford van. The back two seats were turned to face each other and we played many card games as we traveled the 4,000 miles one way. We had such a good time that we all went again in 1972, but this time for 7 weeks! We camped and prepared much of our food. Those two trips were highlights of my life and I am so grateful for the time we spent together as a family. We all have very good memories of those vacations.
Uncle Del had 4 children who I mentioned earlier. He also had 5 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.
I praise God for the times that I shared with Uncle Del. He was a wonderful uncle and I am going to miss him greatly.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Being Thankful and Forgiving
Today is a new day. I finished reading Ecclesiastes this morning. Tomorrow I will begin the Song of Solomon. It is amazing to me how someone as wise as Solomon could get tricked into idolatry during his lifetime. He "had it all" as the saying goes, and yet he wasn't thankful for what God had done for him and what God had given to him. I am sure I will share more about Solomon as I read that book.
Another book I have been reading is by Robin Jones Gunn. Robin is an author that Denise has been reading for several years. One year ago in October, Robin was at the Anchor Room, a Christian book store in Fort Wayne. Denise really wanted to go and meet her, so we arranged our schedule to do that. Denise, Deborah and I arrived at the Anchor Room and found the books we wanted to purchase. Then we stood in line for only a short time, as there were only about 3 or 4 people in front of us. When it was our turn to meet her, Robin greeted us with open arms and a BIG hug. We introduced ourselves to her, she signed our books, we took pictures of her with each of us, and enjoyed a few minutes of sharing with her before it was time for the next women to meet Robin. I am thankful for the time we shared with Robin. She is a great example of a woman of God.
I had never read any of her books, but after meeting her, I couldn't wait to delve into the new book I had bought. It was called "SisterChicks on the Loose!" Now if you don't know what a Sisterchick is, I will tell you. From Robin's website the definition of a sister chick is as follows:
SISTERCHICK n.: a friend who shares the deepest wonders of your heart, loves you like a sister, and provides a reality check when you're being a brat.
There are 8 SisterChick books as well as a devotional book. The books are wonderful stories of women in the prime of life (used to be called close to middle age LOL) taking vacations together and growing closer to God and each other. I would recommend these books to anyone wanting to know God better.
Robin has written a couple of series for young girls, the first of which was the "Christy Miller Series". It begins when Christy is about 15 years old. She visits her aunt and uncle in California for the summer and so begins her lifetime of getting to know God better and Him. There are 12 books in the series. The first spin-off series was the Sierra Jensen series, which I have not read. The second spin-off series continued with Christy and is called The College Years. The fourth spin-off series is called the Katie Weldon Series.
Denise encouraged me to read these books and so I began. I read the "Christy Miller Series" (all 12 books) and I am almost done with "The College Years". The third book in the "The College Years" series is called "I Promise". Christy is talking to her grandmother. She is visiting her in light of her grandfather's recent death. Her grandmother gives her some advice that I thought I would share.
"It goes very fast." A tear glistened in Grandma's eye before finding its way down her wrinkled cheek. "It's over so soon. Keep short lists, honey. Learn to forgive quickly and go on because one day you'll wake up and find that somehow you got old when you weren't looking. Your lists won't matter at all then." These words are a gem! I am not that old yet, but I can see the logic behind what Christy's grandmother is telling her.
In the Bible, Ephesians 4:26 tells us, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." How often have we gotten angry about something, then we let it brew, and then we stew over it for so long that now we are REALLY angry? What profit is there when we hold on to anger and bitterness? Does it affect the person with whom we are angry or bitter against? The answer is no, probably not. A lot of times that person may not even know that we are angry with them. But do you know who it does affect? It affects the one who holds the anger and bitterness. That person is out of alignment and harmony with God. It keeps that one from enjoying the sweet fellowship he could be having with his heavenly Father. Does God walk away from him at those times? No, he walks away from God.
Ephesians chapter 4 is an excellent chapter that begins the practical application of the doctrine we have read in the first three chapters of Ephesians. (I encourage all of you to read this section of the Word.) The closing verses in chapter 4 tell us,
Eph 4:31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
If God can forgive us for the things that we do, then we can surely forgive others who do things to us. Let's walk in newness of life as we endeavor to forget the little things and focus on the greatness of God's wonderful, matchless Word.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and God's love! God Bless You :)
Another book I have been reading is by Robin Jones Gunn. Robin is an author that Denise has been reading for several years. One year ago in October, Robin was at the Anchor Room, a Christian book store in Fort Wayne. Denise really wanted to go and meet her, so we arranged our schedule to do that. Denise, Deborah and I arrived at the Anchor Room and found the books we wanted to purchase. Then we stood in line for only a short time, as there were only about 3 or 4 people in front of us. When it was our turn to meet her, Robin greeted us with open arms and a BIG hug. We introduced ourselves to her, she signed our books, we took pictures of her with each of us, and enjoyed a few minutes of sharing with her before it was time for the next women to meet Robin. I am thankful for the time we shared with Robin. She is a great example of a woman of God.
I had never read any of her books, but after meeting her, I couldn't wait to delve into the new book I had bought. It was called "SisterChicks on the Loose!" Now if you don't know what a Sisterchick is, I will tell you. From Robin's website the definition of a sister chick is as follows:
SISTERCHICK n.: a friend who shares the deepest wonders of your heart, loves you like a sister, and provides a reality check when you're being a brat.
There are 8 SisterChick books as well as a devotional book. The books are wonderful stories of women in the prime of life (used to be called close to middle age LOL) taking vacations together and growing closer to God and each other. I would recommend these books to anyone wanting to know God better.
Robin has written a couple of series for young girls, the first of which was the "Christy Miller Series". It begins when Christy is about 15 years old. She visits her aunt and uncle in California for the summer and so begins her lifetime of getting to know God better and Him. There are 12 books in the series. The first spin-off series was the Sierra Jensen series, which I have not read. The second spin-off series continued with Christy and is called The College Years. The fourth spin-off series is called the Katie Weldon Series.
Denise encouraged me to read these books and so I began. I read the "Christy Miller Series" (all 12 books) and I am almost done with "The College Years". The third book in the "The College Years" series is called "I Promise". Christy is talking to her grandmother. She is visiting her in light of her grandfather's recent death. Her grandmother gives her some advice that I thought I would share.
"It goes very fast." A tear glistened in Grandma's eye before finding its way down her wrinkled cheek. "It's over so soon. Keep short lists, honey. Learn to forgive quickly and go on because one day you'll wake up and find that somehow you got old when you weren't looking. Your lists won't matter at all then." These words are a gem! I am not that old yet, but I can see the logic behind what Christy's grandmother is telling her.
In the Bible, Ephesians 4:26 tells us, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." How often have we gotten angry about something, then we let it brew, and then we stew over it for so long that now we are REALLY angry? What profit is there when we hold on to anger and bitterness? Does it affect the person with whom we are angry or bitter against? The answer is no, probably not. A lot of times that person may not even know that we are angry with them. But do you know who it does affect? It affects the one who holds the anger and bitterness. That person is out of alignment and harmony with God. It keeps that one from enjoying the sweet fellowship he could be having with his heavenly Father. Does God walk away from him at those times? No, he walks away from God.
Ephesians chapter 4 is an excellent chapter that begins the practical application of the doctrine we have read in the first three chapters of Ephesians. (I encourage all of you to read this section of the Word.) The closing verses in chapter 4 tell us,
Eph 4:31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
If God can forgive us for the things that we do, then we can surely forgive others who do things to us. Let's walk in newness of life as we endeavor to forget the little things and focus on the greatness of God's wonderful, matchless Word.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and God's love! God Bless You :)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Another Day... Thank God for His Goodness and His Love!
The words of my last posting have meant so much more to me this week than I would have imagined. On Tuesday my Dad's cousin's wife Dorothy passed away (her husband died in 2002). On Thursday I found out the father of my best friend when I was growing up passed away the previous Friday. Then I received an email that an older friend that I haven't seen in about 20 years passed away on Thursday.
While attempting to let my aunt know about Dorothy, she told me that my uncle who just celebrated his 80th birthday has kidney failure and has refused dialysis. The doctor doesn't recommend dialysis because he said he is not sure my uncle's body is strong enough. We visited Uncle Del today. He knew who we are, but he was very tired. Please keep him and the family in your prayers.
I have been trying to be diligent to read first thing in the morning for about 5 months now. Before that, sometimes days would go by before I remembered to read. Then in May I went to a Christian Women's Day in Indianapolis. I got so blessed by the teachings - it was incredible!
One reason I read the Bible every morning is so that the Word is fresh in my mind every day. Recently I failed to read my bible the first thing in the morning. Later in the day things started bothering me. Then I remembered that I hadn't read. I stopped what I was doing, went to my room, and read. What a difference it made!
Tomorrow is a new day wherein we can praise God for His loving-kindness and tender mercies. Let's endeavor to keep God first in our hearts and in our minds and live the kind of life that God desires for us.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and God's love! God Bless You :)
While attempting to let my aunt know about Dorothy, she told me that my uncle who just celebrated his 80th birthday has kidney failure and has refused dialysis. The doctor doesn't recommend dialysis because he said he is not sure my uncle's body is strong enough. We visited Uncle Del today. He knew who we are, but he was very tired. Please keep him and the family in your prayers.
I have been trying to be diligent to read first thing in the morning for about 5 months now. Before that, sometimes days would go by before I remembered to read. Then in May I went to a Christian Women's Day in Indianapolis. I got so blessed by the teachings - it was incredible!
One reason I read the Bible every morning is so that the Word is fresh in my mind every day. Recently I failed to read my bible the first thing in the morning. Later in the day things started bothering me. Then I remembered that I hadn't read. I stopped what I was doing, went to my room, and read. What a difference it made!
Tomorrow is a new day wherein we can praise God for His loving-kindness and tender mercies. Let's endeavor to keep God first in our hearts and in our minds and live the kind of life that God desires for us.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and God's love! God Bless You :)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
On a More Serious Note
I received an email on August 25 that a dear friend from Bluffton had fallen asleep. Dee Dee was a vivacious woman of 58 years who was the picture of health, slim attractive and full of life. We don't know for sure what happened, only that when her husband Steve came downstairs on the previous day, she was slumped over and was not breathing.
Daniel and I attended he viewing as did several of our friends from the Fort Wayne area. All told, I heart there were over a thousand friends and relatives who went to give their condolences to Steve and their four children and families.
Thursday morning, Denise and Deborah and I attended the funeral. It looked as though close to 200 folks were there. The minister shared from the Bible. Both daughters and a daughter-in-law shared some heartfelt memories of Dee Dee as did a member of the Bluffton TEA Party, of which Steve and Dee Dee were organizers. The minister read memories of one son and then Steve shared his memories of Dee Dee and their lives together. Steve's love for Dee Dee flooded the room as he spoke. He finished by reading Proverbs 31:10-31, the scriptures which speak of a virtuous woman.
When Daniel and I spoke with Steve the night before, he said, "I know that this is not from our loving heavenly Father. This is from the devil," the one who has the power of death as recorded in Hebrews 2:14.:
"Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;"
Could the Bible be any more plain? GOD doesn't kill people, the devil does. We need to come to the realization in our minds that death is not from GOD. Why would GOD make, form, and create us only to kill us a few years down the road. And don't tell me that GOD needs another rose petal in heaven! If GOD wanted another rose petal in heaven, don't you think HE could make one???
Steve said that morning he had read what the Bible says in Psalm 116:15:
"Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints."
This doesn't mean that it is precious as we use the term. The Hebrew word is "yaqar" which should be translated costly. It costs GOD something when one of His children dies. That person can no longer hold forth the word of life to others, he can no longer minister that which is good, he can no longer share with others how GOD can deliver them from the tricks and wiles of the devil.
Praise GOD that we have the hope of Christ's return for us as stated in
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18"
1Th 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
1Th 4:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
1Th 4:15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
1Th 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
1Th 4:17 Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
1Th 4:18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
I love you all and thank GOD for your lives.
Daniel and I attended he viewing as did several of our friends from the Fort Wayne area. All told, I heart there were over a thousand friends and relatives who went to give their condolences to Steve and their four children and families.
Thursday morning, Denise and Deborah and I attended the funeral. It looked as though close to 200 folks were there. The minister shared from the Bible. Both daughters and a daughter-in-law shared some heartfelt memories of Dee Dee as did a member of the Bluffton TEA Party, of which Steve and Dee Dee were organizers. The minister read memories of one son and then Steve shared his memories of Dee Dee and their lives together. Steve's love for Dee Dee flooded the room as he spoke. He finished by reading Proverbs 31:10-31, the scriptures which speak of a virtuous woman.
When Daniel and I spoke with Steve the night before, he said, "I know that this is not from our loving heavenly Father. This is from the devil," the one who has the power of death as recorded in Hebrews 2:14.:
"Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;"
Could the Bible be any more plain? GOD doesn't kill people, the devil does. We need to come to the realization in our minds that death is not from GOD. Why would GOD make, form, and create us only to kill us a few years down the road. And don't tell me that GOD needs another rose petal in heaven! If GOD wanted another rose petal in heaven, don't you think HE could make one???
Steve said that morning he had read what the Bible says in Psalm 116:15:
"Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints."
This doesn't mean that it is precious as we use the term. The Hebrew word is "yaqar" which should be translated costly. It costs GOD something when one of His children dies. That person can no longer hold forth the word of life to others, he can no longer minister that which is good, he can no longer share with others how GOD can deliver them from the tricks and wiles of the devil.
Praise GOD that we have the hope of Christ's return for us as stated in
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18"
1Th 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
1Th 4:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
1Th 4:15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
1Th 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
1Th 4:17 Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
1Th 4:18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
I love you all and thank GOD for your lives.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Lots of Fun!
It has been too long since I have shared anything. My heart was joyful last weekend as we had a guest for a few days. Dannae's boyfriend Zach visited from the Chicago area and we all enjoyed the visit immensely.
Friday night found us at a volleyball game in Wabash. Denise and Deborah played very well. This is only their second year of playing on an organized team and they have improved very much.
Saturday night we attended the wedding of Josh and Amy. They have been Danny's and David's friends for about 13 years. The wedding was held at the Rooftop Lounge of the Memorial Coliseum in Fort Wayne. The sky was somewhat cloudy as it sprinkled lightly on the outdoor location prior to the wedding. By the time the bride came down the aisle, the drops of water had stopped and the wedding proceeded as planned.
After the ceremony, the reception was held in the adjoining lounge. We partook of a tasty buffet and enjoyed karaoke sung by numerous friends, including Josh. Daniel and I danced to several slower songs, as did Danny and Heather and Zach and Dannae. It was a wonderful time to share in the lives of Josh and Amy and to be together as a family.
Sunday we attended the 80th birthday celebration for my Uncle Del in Fort Wayne. He was my Dad's only brother. Those attending were my Aunt Norma; cousin Karen and her husband Dave from Plymouth, Indiana; cousin Kay Ann and her husband Mike from Virginia; cousin Kathy from Fort Wayne; and several of Aunt Norma's family. It was a wonderful time to be together and celebrate a momentous occasion.
Afterward we came home and celebrated David's graduation from IPFW. Numerous parties, work, and various schedules made it difficult to have a party earlier in the summer. Nick and Ashley joined our family as Daniel cooked-out on the grill and we enjoyed some home-cooked food.
A very busy weekend was enjoyed by all.
Friday night found us at a volleyball game in Wabash. Denise and Deborah played very well. This is only their second year of playing on an organized team and they have improved very much.
Saturday night we attended the wedding of Josh and Amy. They have been Danny's and David's friends for about 13 years. The wedding was held at the Rooftop Lounge of the Memorial Coliseum in Fort Wayne. The sky was somewhat cloudy as it sprinkled lightly on the outdoor location prior to the wedding. By the time the bride came down the aisle, the drops of water had stopped and the wedding proceeded as planned.
After the ceremony, the reception was held in the adjoining lounge. We partook of a tasty buffet and enjoyed karaoke sung by numerous friends, including Josh. Daniel and I danced to several slower songs, as did Danny and Heather and Zach and Dannae. It was a wonderful time to share in the lives of Josh and Amy and to be together as a family.
Sunday we attended the 80th birthday celebration for my Uncle Del in Fort Wayne. He was my Dad's only brother. Those attending were my Aunt Norma; cousin Karen and her husband Dave from Plymouth, Indiana; cousin Kay Ann and her husband Mike from Virginia; cousin Kathy from Fort Wayne; and several of Aunt Norma's family. It was a wonderful time to be together and celebrate a momentous occasion.
Afterward we came home and celebrated David's graduation from IPFW. Numerous parties, work, and various schedules made it difficult to have a party earlier in the summer. Nick and Ashley joined our family as Daniel cooked-out on the grill and we enjoyed some home-cooked food.
A very busy weekend was enjoyed by all.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Job - Perfect & Upright
Today I began reading the book of Job. I have heard of Job for years, ever since I was a little girl. I was taught he was a wealthy man and God "gave" him lots of possessions and then God "took" them away. Let’s see what the Bible has to say about Job.
Job Chapter 1 begins...
1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.
3 His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.
4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.
5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.
Job thought (doubted, worried, and feared) that maybe, perhaps, just quite possibly, his sons had sinned and cursed God in their hearts. And so because of this doubt, worry and fear, Job offered burnt offerings for them all.
Skipping ahead to verse 13 we read,
13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:
15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of god is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
19 And behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
What would you have done in this situation? All of your oxen and asses have been taken away. Your sheep have been burned and consumed. Your camels have been taken away. All the servants that take care of the animals, except for the messengers of the calamity, have been slain. And now your children have been killed by the roof falling in on top of them.
Let’s see what Job did.
20 Then Job arose, rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,
21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
The Bible says that Job worshipped! Job sinned not! And he did not charge God foolishly! This man who lost all he had did something that not many of us would think to do. He worshipped God and sinned not.
What an amazing example he set for us!
I will write more about Job in the next post. Until then, remember to be thankful for God’s goodness and God’s love.
Job Chapter 1 begins...
1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.
3 His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.
4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.
5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.
Job thought (doubted, worried, and feared) that maybe, perhaps, just quite possibly, his sons had sinned and cursed God in their hearts. And so because of this doubt, worry and fear, Job offered burnt offerings for them all.
Skipping ahead to verse 13 we read,
13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:
15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of god is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house:
19 And behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
What would you have done in this situation? All of your oxen and asses have been taken away. Your sheep have been burned and consumed. Your camels have been taken away. All the servants that take care of the animals, except for the messengers of the calamity, have been slain. And now your children have been killed by the roof falling in on top of them.
Let’s see what Job did.
20 Then Job arose, rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,
21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
The Bible says that Job worshipped! Job sinned not! And he did not charge God foolishly! This man who lost all he had did something that not many of us would think to do. He worshipped God and sinned not.
What an amazing example he set for us!
I will write more about Job in the next post. Until then, remember to be thankful for God’s goodness and God’s love.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Husbands & Wives
Today is Danny & Heather's 1st Anniversary and in light of that fact, I have been thinking about what God says in His Word.
The Bible says in 1Thessalonians 5:18, "In everything gives thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Being thankful is one of the greatest keys to remember.
The Bible says in 1Thessalonians 5:18, "In everything gives thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Being thankful is one of the greatest keys to remember.
In Ephesians 5:20, God tells us through the Apostle Paul,
5:20
Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
5:21
Submitting yourselves (1) to arrange under, to subordinate; 2) to subject, put in subjection; 3) to subject one's self, obey; 4) to submit to one's control; 5) to yield to one's admonition or advice; and 6) to obey, be subject) one to another (one another, reciprocally, mutually) in the fear of God.
5:22
Wives, submit (same as above) yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
5:24
Therefore as the church is subject (same as "submit" above) unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
5:25
Husbands, love (to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly) your wives, even as Christ also loved (to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly) the church, and gave himself for it;
5:26
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,
5:27
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (love-loveth - to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly)
5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth (1) to nourish up to maturity, to nourish; and 2) to nurture, bring up) and cherisheth (1) to warm, keep warm; and 2) to cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care) it, even as the Lord the church:
5:30
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
5:31
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
5:32
This is a great mystery (a hidden or secret thing, not obvious to the understanding): but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
5:33
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love (to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly) his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (to reverence, venerate, to treat with deference or reverential obedience) her husband.
I think it is interesting to note that it should not be a difficult thing for the wife to submit to her own husband. In Ephesians 5:21, if we are obeying God, then we are already "submitting ourselves one to another in the fear of God." And it should not be a difficult thing for the husband to love the wife because in Ephesians 5:25 it says, "even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it." And we know how much Christ loved and how much he gave up when he laid down his llife for each of us.
As the years go on, the bad times are forgotten and only the good times remain in our memories - if we let them. Philippians 3:13 tells us a lot of interesting things about Paul.
3:13
Brethern, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
3:14
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Paul had done a lot of things that he was not proud of, i.e. persecuting the church and killing the Christians, and it was all because he was zealous of the traditions of the Jews' religion. (Sound like something we will be watching this next Saturday night? LOL [Denise and Deborah were in "Fiddler on the Roof" at HU on July 25, 2009]) Anyway, he forgot the things that were in his past and he believed God to forgive him and he pressed on and taught the accuracy of the word that he was taught after being born-again. He had to do the forgetting and the pressing on. We have to do the same. It is an everyday, every hour, minute by minute walk with God.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and for God's love.
Remember to be thankful for God's goodness and for God's love.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
July 12, 2009
Well, I finally finished the book I started a couple days ago. "Alaska Twilight" by Colleen Coble is a Women of Faith Fiction book. The beginning of the book was a little confusing, but it intrigued me. In the end, all the answers are in the book. I encourage you to read this book.
Reading has become a favorite past time for me. I usually read before I go to sleep at night, and sometimes it gets pretty late before my light goes out. A few authors that I enjoy reading are Janette Oke, Robin Jones Gunn, and Colleen Coble. I am anxious to read Denise Hunter's books, too.
I enjoy reading the Tales From Grace Chapel Inn series. I didn't realize it at first, but several people have written books for the series. The last one I read was written by Diann Hunt. It was a great addition to the series. I think it is interesting how each writer continues the series with continuity for each of the characters. It was a pleasurable book to read.
Have a great day!
Reading has become a favorite past time for me. I usually read before I go to sleep at night, and sometimes it gets pretty late before my light goes out. A few authors that I enjoy reading are Janette Oke, Robin Jones Gunn, and Colleen Coble. I am anxious to read Denise Hunter's books, too.
I enjoy reading the Tales From Grace Chapel Inn series. I didn't realize it at first, but several people have written books for the series. The last one I read was written by Diann Hunt. It was a great addition to the series. I think it is interesting how each writer continues the series with continuity for each of the characters. It was a pleasurable book to read.
Have a great day!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
July 11, 2009
Today has been a wonderful day. It started last evening around 7 pm. I was lying on our bed reading and Daniel was working on the computer. Our dog Belle started barking. Now if you know Belle, she usually just whines. I thought perhaps Dannae came home from work - but Belle doesn't bark at family members, so that didn't make sense.
Daniel went to the front door and our good friends from Canada - David, Sandy, and Chelsea - were standing there. We knew they had gone to Kentucky for a few days, and that there was possibility they would stop by, but we didn't know when. What a pleasant surprise!
The last time we saw them was a year ago at Danny's and Heather's wedding. That was a very hurried time, so we didn't get to visit a whole lot. Plus, David was the photographer for their wedding, so he was quite busy. We chatted for awhile and then Dannae ordered pizza - yummy!
We talked until almost 2 am and the our friends left to sleep at the local hotel.
This morning we enjoyed their company again for a few hours before they began their 8 hour drive home. We had a wonderful time visiting. Thank God for good friends :)
Have a great night and remember God's goodness and God's love!
Daniel went to the front door and our good friends from Canada - David, Sandy, and Chelsea - were standing there. We knew they had gone to Kentucky for a few days, and that there was possibility they would stop by, but we didn't know when. What a pleasant surprise!
The last time we saw them was a year ago at Danny's and Heather's wedding. That was a very hurried time, so we didn't get to visit a whole lot. Plus, David was the photographer for their wedding, so he was quite busy. We chatted for awhile and then Dannae ordered pizza - yummy!
We talked until almost 2 am and the our friends left to sleep at the local hotel.
This morning we enjoyed their company again for a few hours before they began their 8 hour drive home. We had a wonderful time visiting. Thank God for good friends :)
Have a great night and remember God's goodness and God's love!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Fiddler on the Roof
Time is flying by quicker than usual. I know time doesn't change and go faster or slower, but it just seems that way.
Denise and Deborah started the Huntington University Theatre Camp on June 29. The production this year is "Fiddler on the Roof Jr" and it has some of my favorite music. The camp runs 4 weeks, Monday through Friday from 8:30 am - 12:30 pm. The productions will take place on July 25 at 2 pm and 7 pm. If you want to purchase tickets, you can contact us. From watching the girls dance and sing around the house, it looks like it will be a fun time.
Remember God's goodness and God's grace in your life :)
Denise and Deborah started the Huntington University Theatre Camp on June 29. The production this year is "Fiddler on the Roof Jr" and it has some of my favorite music. The camp runs 4 weeks, Monday through Friday from 8:30 am - 12:30 pm. The productions will take place on July 25 at 2 pm and 7 pm. If you want to purchase tickets, you can contact us. From watching the girls dance and sing around the house, it looks like it will be a fun time.
Remember God's goodness and God's grace in your life :)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What a week we have had so far. A friend came to visit over the weekend and Sunday was my birthday. It was a wonderful day spent with my family and friends. After a cookout at my older son's house, my family gave me a cake that said, "Happy 16th Birthday" and was nicely decorated by my youngest daughter, who is almost 18. The kids gave me a neat mug that says I am the greatest mom in the universe! WOW - what an accomplishment. I also got a pair of earrings and a lovely purple flower bouquet. It was all very nice.
Have a wonderful day!
Have a wonderful day!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
June 27, 2009
WOW! Where has the time gone? Friday slipped by without a thought in my head - NO WAIT!!! I did think some that day - I just didn't take the time to write down anything. And now it is after midnight, so it is early Sunday morning.
Saturday was a busy day. Denise and Deborah walked in the Heritage Days Parade 2009 with the Huntington County TEA Party float. They handed out fliers telling of an upcoming rally on the 4th of July on the courthouse steps. It was a hot day in the neighborhood and Daniel, David and I sat on the east side of Jefferson Street and watched the parade.
At 2 pm, I volunteered a couple of hours to hand out information about the TEA Party Rally next weekend, as well as pocket-sized copies of the US Constitution. I told passersby about 4 petitions that were available to sign.
1. The Term Limit petition to establish term limits in the US Senate and the US Congress.
2. The 912 Project petition
3. The petition to Repeal Property Taxes
4. Petition to retain Sovereignty
These are 4 very important petitions that need to be passed to show our government that we are fighting for our country! Our country was founded on principles from God's Word and we as a nation need to get back to the original thoughts that made our country great. We can not sit idly by and watch our country go up in flames. We must know our Constitution and the rights that it gives us as citizens so that these rights will not be stolen from us. We must fight for our country!
Today was a good day and I am proud to be an American!
Saturday was a busy day. Denise and Deborah walked in the Heritage Days Parade 2009 with the Huntington County TEA Party float. They handed out fliers telling of an upcoming rally on the 4th of July on the courthouse steps. It was a hot day in the neighborhood and Daniel, David and I sat on the east side of Jefferson Street and watched the parade.
At 2 pm, I volunteered a couple of hours to hand out information about the TEA Party Rally next weekend, as well as pocket-sized copies of the US Constitution. I told passersby about 4 petitions that were available to sign.
1. The Term Limit petition to establish term limits in the US Senate and the US Congress.
2. The 912 Project petition
3. The petition to Repeal Property Taxes
4. Petition to retain Sovereignty
These are 4 very important petitions that need to be passed to show our government that we are fighting for our country! Our country was founded on principles from God's Word and we as a nation need to get back to the original thoughts that made our country great. We can not sit idly by and watch our country go up in flames. We must know our Constitution and the rights that it gives us as citizens so that these rights will not be stolen from us. We must fight for our country!
Today was a good day and I am proud to be an American!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June 25, 2009
Today is a new day. I have been reading in 2 Kings this week. I started reading in Judges as a result of my wanting to study women of the Bible. Then I read Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, and then 1 Kings. It has been an interesting ride.
I am amazed at how many times God delivers Israel. Deuteronomy 28 plainly spells it out that Israel was to follow God and if they failed to "hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statues which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee." (Deut. 28:15). In the next 52 verses, the Bible lists the many plagues that would come upon the children of Israel for their disobedience.
I am amazed at how many times God delivers Israel. Deuteronomy 28 plainly spells it out that Israel was to follow God and if they failed to "hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statues which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee." (Deut. 28:15). In the next 52 verses, the Bible lists the many plagues that would come upon the children of Israel for their disobedience.
Many times the Bible says that "Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord" and served Baalim or were delivered into the hands of a foreign king. Then "Israel cried unto the LORD" and God would hear their cry and deliver them. What a merciful God they had, and they weren't even sons!
Today we have the privilege of being Sons Of God With All Power (SOGWAP). God is the same God today that He was during the times that the Bible was recorded (Malachi 3:6). How much more we have than they! Our God gives mercy which means that He withholds due punishment. Our God gives grace which means that He gives us what we do not deserve.
Praise God for His goodness and His love.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
June 24, 2009
This is the first day of blogging for me. I have never done this before, but I thought I would give it a try :)
Today is a good day. But it isn't good because of the things we are/are not doing - today is good because, "This is the day which the Lord hath made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms. 118:24. Praise God for His goodness and His love!
The sun in shining brightly as I sit by my window working on the computer. The window AC is at my back and is keeping me cool. I have chlorophyll water at my disposal to quench my thirst. Daniel is reading a book for one of his classes while reclining on the bed.
Tomorrow I will have more to write. Until then, have a good day :)
Today is a good day. But it isn't good because of the things we are/are not doing - today is good because, "This is the day which the Lord hath made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms. 118:24. Praise God for His goodness and His love!
The sun in shining brightly as I sit by my window working on the computer. The window AC is at my back and is keeping me cool. I have chlorophyll water at my disposal to quench my thirst. Daniel is reading a book for one of his classes while reclining on the bed.
Tomorrow I will have more to write. Until then, have a good day :)
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